Influence

 Take a moment and think about the people you influence.

NOT who influences you.

But people YOU influence.

For some of you you may say your kids or other members of your family. Others of you may say friends or coworkers. But think outside the box.

Here are three different groups of people I influence:

Celebrities
People who are reading my fanfiction stories
The people in my bible study groups (OK, maybe this one would be in the friends category)

I'm a member of 2 different Bible study groups and in both of them, I am the youngest member. Now before you start asking why, let me say this: I enjoy both groups I'm in because I can learn something from them. But after being presented with this question, it made me realize something: it doesn't matter how old I am, I can still touch someone's heart with my story.

Out of the two groups i'm apart of, only one of them knows part of my backstory, and that's mainly because when that group started, I was at the tail-end of a rough season where I had been rendered scared to worship. I eventually overcome my fear and am back to my normal self, but the thing that's been amazing to me is being able to share the lessons I learned during those four months and to pass on what I have learned to someone else who may be going through the same thing.

Now you're probably wondering, how do I influence celebrities? I'm sure at one point we have all posted at least one comment on our favorite celebrity's social media account about how we admire them for something they've done or about how we love them in (fill in the blank with what they do), but have you ever told a celebrity (via social media or in person) that you were praying for them? And not just that you were praying  for them to come to faith, but that you were praying for something going on in their lives?

I have.

I can't share too many details about my experience out of respect for the celebrity who I am referring to, so I'll summarize. One of my favorite celebrities was going through a nasty custody battle with their ex and it hit me hard because I know how much this person enjoys being a parent. Up until the court date (per the news) I had been praying heavily for this person's situation and that the outcome would be a positive one Fast forward to the night before the date, I had what I called a prayer/praise/night of surrender. It was then that I finally said "God, this is out my hands and into yours."

The date arrived and I posted the prayer that I had been praying for the past month to this person's twitter account. I'll admit I was nervous to mention I was praying for the opposition. I ended up logging out my social media accounts for what ended up being a week.  I never did hear the outcome of that date, and as far as I know, something may still be going on, but I learned two things during that season: patience and what it means to surrender.

I don't know if this celebrity ever read my post or my prayer, but I knew in my heart that I had done everything I could. It was up to God to do the rest. Who know, maybe one day if I meet this person, I can share it with them verbally.

Now the last category might take a little bit to digest, so bear with me.

Most of you know my journey with fanfiction and the emotional ride I went on in 2016. I was able to return 4 years later on the same day that was forced to let it go. Out of all the new chapters I have written these past few months, there are a couple that I am really proud of because of what they talk about. The current story I'm writing is about restoration of a marriage. I am drawing inspiration from the movie "Fireproof", Psalm 130, a couple songs by Casting Crowns, and a quote from another authors' fanfiction story.

Throughout the story, and much like in "Fireproof", there are moments of conflict, but it's the resolution that  is the most influential. Not only am I showing my readers that my characters are healing, I am showing them that there is healing and restoration through Jesus Christ! My hope and prayer is that someone out there is touched by what I have written, either in this story, or other stories I have written that share the gospel.             

So after reading this post, has your list of people you influence gotten longer? If not, that's OK, maybe now is the time to start.   

Saved

A young child, a stranger, and an avenger savewd my life.

How?

Well it's quite an interesting story!

In 2011, I met a young boy named Caleb who had cerebral palsy. I volunteered to assit him throughout vacation bible school that year and got to know him and his family. I remember one night he asked his mom "can she come over to our house?" It was so sweet. Sadly in 2012, he passed away while recovering from surgery. It hit me hard bbecause I wasn't even home when it happened. I was on my way to a famiy outing. It took me along time to get over it and move on. I even separated myself from the children's ministry at church because it reminded me too much of him. His was the first funeral I ever cried at.

In 2014, rejoined a website called fanfiction.net and found a partcular author's story and started reading. Upon finishing, I messaged her through the site's private messaging system. Throughout the rest of the year. we comunicated back and forth about each other's stories (I began to write my own and would ask her for help. Fast foward to January of 2015, she joined Twitter and we started direct messaging each other just about every day, talking about our stories, things in the Marvel Cinematic Universe (which is what both of our stories are about), and a few personal items. In November of 2016, I was dealing with some personal issues regarding my writing and reading of fanfiction. Because of this, I couldn't talk with her on twitter with her as much as I used to. It's a long and complicated story that is still at some points hard to talk about. Not a day goes by that I don't miss reading and writing. Sadly in January of 2018, she decided to no longer communicate with me, and chose to not say why she was stopping. This hit hard because we had been talking with each other for 3 years!

WARNING: THE NEXT SECTION CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR AVENGERS: ENDGAME

In the movie, the avvenges travel back in time to collect the infinity stones to undo Thanos' sanp from the previous movie. Clint Barton and Natasha Romanoff are sent to a planet called Vormir to retrieve the soul stone. In order to take the stone, one of them had to sacrifice themself so the other could take the stone back to the present day. Clint and Natasha fight over who was going to be the one to jump and in the end, Natasha ended up being the one.

This scene didn't hit me till after I left the theatre. I remember walking out shaking, then coming home and screaming in my room. I have loved Nat ever since she was in Captain America: The Winter Soldier (she appeared in 2 other movies prior to this one, but this was where I really got to know her). She is even the center character of my fanfiction stories. We also share a few things in common: we were both born in a different country (me China and her Russia), neither of us know our birth parents, and we're both ballet dancers.

So you're probably wondering, how did all three of these people save me? Here's the answer.

I believe that God uses tragety to bring people closer to Him. All three of these people I had grown close to and really got to know them. When they all were gone, I was hit hard and I struggled to come to terms with each loss. Why did Caleb have to die at such a young age? Why did Maggie (the stranger who became a mutal friend) leave me? Would this have happened if I wasn't forced to leave her? Why did it have to be Nat? Whhy couldn't they send someone else to Vormir?

Since the third loss, and after a concert in July (see previous blog post) my number one passion, which is worship, feels stronger than ever! I’ve joined the choir and I'm falling in love with new songs that I hear on the radio and learning valuable lessons:

"Yes I Will" praise God in the midst of tragedy
"While I Wait" I will worship and trust God
I will "Raise a Hallelujah" with everthing inside of me
He holds me through the storm and I will "Fear No More"
He is my "Shelter" in a time of storm
He is "Highter" than any mountain I face
He is an "Unstoppable God"
He is the "Keeper of my Heart"
Nothing can overcome my "Indestructable Soul"
I was a "Dead Man Walking" till he lead this dead man back to life
He reminds me every time that he's "Still Alive"
I can face my giants with "Confidence"


As far as the other spiritual diciplines, I'm working on them. I'm partcipating in a 4-year bible plan called Cover2Cover and am loving it. It's refreshing to slow down and focus on one chapter of the bible at a time whereas in previous plans I had to read multiple chapters a day. My prayer life is also growing again. I find it easier to spend more time in prayer at night before bed than in the moring before work. During running season, I would pray along the way to my early morning group runs, praising God for who He is and everything He has blessed me with.

So the short answer: God used all three of these loses to bring me back to Him and to reignite my passion for worship!

While I Wait, Yes I Will

While I Wait
Yes, I Will

2 valuable lessons I am trying to teach myself.

Earlier this year in June, I kicked off my running season for 2019. My goal was to run a 10 nautical mile (11.5 mile) race on at the end of August and then a 5K two weeks later. Unfortunately 2 months in and 2 weeks until race day, my season was brought to halt due to illness. The night I made the decision to postpone my run was actually the night beofre my birthday.

In July, I attended a concert with Vertical Worship, who is the artist of the song "Yes, I Will." When the song first started playing on the radio, I didn't think much of it. It wasn't until the day before the concert and hearing the song perfomred live that it started to make an impact.

I have no problem praising God when things are going great, but when things get tough, like saying "good-bye" to my marvel writings a few years ago (yes, it has been almost 3 years since that horrible day), I shut down and find it hard to praise Him. Sometimes I don't even had the words to say to him during my nightly prayer. That's why this song is so powerful to me, because it's a vauale lesson I need to learn.

"While I Wait" by Lincoln Brewster also represents me as I am waiting on a lot of things to happen: moving out and getting back to my marvel writings so  I can continue to share the gospel with the world, waiting to return to running, waiting for my dream job (medical coding), and waiting to return to dance again.

So for now:
Poka ya zhdu
Da, ya soglasen

Here are some of the lyrics to both of these songs.

"While I Wait"

I live by faith, and not by sight
Sometimes miracles take time

While I wait, I will worship
Lord, I'll worship Your name
While I wait, I will trust You
Lord, I'll trust You all the same

You're faithful every day
Your promises remain

Though I don't understand it
I will worship with my pain
You are God, You are worthy
You are with me all the way

So while I wait, I will worship
Lord, I'll worship Your name
Though I don't have all the answers
Still I trust You all the same

"Yes, I Will"

I count on one thing
The same God that never fails
Will not fail me now
You won't fail me now
In the waiting
The same God who's never late
Is working all things out
Is working all things out

Oh, yes I will, lift You high in the lowest valley
Yes I will, bless Your name
Oh, yes I will, sing for joy when my heart is heavy
For all my days, oh yes I will
For all my days, oh yes, I will

And I choose to praise
To glorify, to glorify
The Name of all names
That nothing can stand against

"Stay"

As you may or may not know, not also do I write my own fanfiction stories, I also read them. One particular author that I read is called thegraytigress. She is actually my beta-reader for one of my stories. One of her mot recent stories that she has written is called "Stay"

Here is the summary and the link. PLEASE READ THE WARNINGS!!!!!

On the surface, he's a disabled war vet and she's his new neighbor. On the surface, they're both okay, surviving, working, living. But beneath his apathy, he's broken, bleeding, and drowning in his pain and loneliness. Underneath her smiles, she's lost, terrified, and trying to find a new start. Maybe it's fate that she moves in and he finds her. And maybe falling in love is their chance to heal.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/6897352/chapters/15736108?view_adult=true

I will warn you RIGHT NOW, there is A LOT of adult content in this story. including: past sexual assault, PTSD, language, unhealthy coping mechanisms, and past domestic violence, but don't let that stop you from getting the message of the story. The purpose of the story is to help people who are struggling with either PTSD or are trying to get away from an abusive relationship and start over. 

And now for my personal thoughts: 

Out of all the fanfiction stories that I have read either by thegraytigress or even other authors, this one has a personal meaning to me. Now, I do not have PTSD and I am not trying to get away from an abusive relationship, but the idea of wondering if things are going to be OK is what resonates with me. 

Last year, more specifically starting at the end of November, I was dealing with some personal issues regarding my writing and reading of fanfiction. Because of this, I couldn't talk with her on twitter after each chapter like I always do when I'm reading one of her stories. It's a long and complicated story of which I'd rather not disclose. I miss it terribly. Some days its easy, and some days it's not.

When these issues first started, I compared it to a table, a turning table that i couldn't keep up with. Read chapter 13 of this story to understand the reference. That is where this story became real to me as well as the song "Turning Tables" by Adele. I was wondering if things were ever going to be OK and if I could ever go back to reading and writing. Unfortunately, I can't right now, but maybe one day in the future I can. 

Ever since thegraytigress finished this story, I have been trying to find the right words to say to her without going into details or getting too personal. The day that things fell apart for me was really tough. It was hard to come to terms with it because it hit me like a ton of bricks. It left me lost and unsure of how things were going to work out, Anyway, I think this blog is the best I can do. I can share both my thoughts on this story and encourage others to read this story if they are struggling.

I have found some other songs that go really well with this story. The reason being is that they tell parts of Natasha's story really well. I'd encourage you to read the story first, then listen to these songs in this order. They are: 

1. The Real Me-Natalie Grant
2. Home-Natalie Grant
3. Set It All Free-Scarlett Johanssen 

So. if you are brave enough, feel free to read this story and leave a review. She worked really hard on this story despite all of the negativity she received as she went. I am really proud of her for sticking with it and not giving up, even if I couldn't be there (logged in to twitter) to help her through it. 

Lastly, this is for thegraytigress: 

THANK YOU!!!!!! Thank you for writing an amazing and inspiring story. Thank you for showing me and thousands of other readers that things will one day be OK.

I'll leave you with a final quote from the story. I remember when I read it I felt like it resonated with me. When I told her that, it made her feel good. I hope this quote will encourage you as you journey through life. 

 "Recovery is a process, a long one.  It’s two steps forward, one step back.  It seems trite, but it’s true.  And it’s not about forgetting your past or ignoring it or simply getting over it.  It’s about learning to let it be a part of you.  That takes time and patience."

"Flawless"

Besides "Impossible" by Building429 being my top theme song, "Flawless" by Mercyme is the one that speaks to me the most. 

There's not much to say on this song, The words say it all. I would like to take this time to briefly share an instance where this song has spoken to me. 

During college. I changed my major from Chemistry to undecided and then to Journalism. However I handled the situation all wrong. I got angry and frustrated with my family because they didn't agree with my decision. There was one night I even hung up on my mom and literally ran out of my dorm building. To make matters worse, I left my phone in my room on purpose. 

Make a long story short, this incident has left me emotionally scarred, more specifically in the days following the day that I made the phone call to tell my parents the news and even as I headed into second semester. When this song came out, I found comfort that no matter how deep that scar is, God has forgiven me and made me flawless. He has forgiven me of the mistakes that were made. 

Here is the link and the lyrics to this powerful song by Mercyme. Read and listen and be reminded that the cross has made you FLAWLESS! 

"Flawless" by Mercyme

There’s got to be more 

Than going back and forth 

From doing right to doing wrong 

‘Cause we were taught that’s who we are 

Come on get in line right behind me 

You along with everybody 

Thinking there’s worth in what you do 

Then Like a hero who takes the stage when 

We’re on the edge of our seats saying it’s too late 

Well let me introduce you to amazing grace 

Chorus: 

No matter the bumps 

No matter the bruises 

No matter the scars 

Still the truth is 

The cross has made 

The cross has made you flawless 

No matter the hurt 

Or how deep the wound is 

No matter the pain 

Still the truth is 

The cross has made 

The cross has made you flawless 

Could it possibly be 

That we simply can’t believe 

That this unconditional 

Kind of love would be enough 

To take a filthy wretch like this 

And wrap him up in righteousness 

But that’s exactly what He did 

Chorus

Take a breath smile and say 

Right here right now I’m ok 

Because the cross was enough 

Then Like a hero who takes the stage when 

We’re on the edge of our seats saying it’s too late 

Well let me introduce you to grace grace 

God’s grace 

Chorus 

No matter what they say 

Or what you think you are 

The day you called His name 

He made you flawless

He made you flawless

No matter the bumps 

No matter the bruises 

No matter the scars 

Still the truth is 

The cross has made 

The cross has made you flawless

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wjLlLPZderk

"Impossible"

"Jesus looked at them and said, 'with man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible'" Matthew 19;26

This verse is what inspired the new song "Impossible" by Building429. I had recently started hearing it on Shine.FM and at first, I thought it was crazy. As I started hearing it more, I began to fall in love with it. Today, it is my favorite song to dance to. I ALWAYS turn my radio up VERY LOUD and dance in front of my mirror.  I also play this song whenever I'm on my treadmill running since I am training for the half marathon.

To make things even more awesome, I sent a tweet to Building429 telling them that I really liked this song. The following day, the band followed me on Twitter! I was one happy camper. Thanks guys for following me.

So, instead of me doing all of the typing, why don't you just listen to the song yourself. Don't be ashamed if you start dancing. It's a catchy tune.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zegqjuz4Cro

Read these lyrics and live out the truth: THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS IMPOSSIBLE!!!!!!!!

"Impossible" by Building429

You got a vision
You got a dream
But it feels a million miles away
You got your passion
You got to believe
That this is why you were made

It takes a little time
Takes a little time
It takes a little time to see
I said it takes a little time
Takes a little time
It takes a little time to believe 

We can rise above the typical
And be anything but usual
We know
We know
We know
That there's no such thing as impossible

And nothing is unreachable 
When we trust the God of miracles
We know 
We know
We know
That there's no such thing as impossible

We're never given the spirit of fear 
Only the power of love
We'll keep on running and not grow weak
His strength is more than enough

It takes a little time
Takes a little time
It takes a little time to see
I said it takes a little time
Takes a little time
It takes a little time to believe

Rise above the typical
And be anything but usual
We know
We know
We know
That there is no such thing as impossible

That nothing is unreachable 
When we trust the God of miracles
We know 
We know
We know
That there is no such thing as impossible

There is no such, no such thing
There is no such, no such thing
There is no such, no such thing as impossible
Impossible

There is no such, no such thing
There is no such, no such thing
There is no such, no such thing as impossible

Rise above the typical
And be anything but usual
We know
We know
We know
That there is no such thing as impossible

Nothing is unreachable 
When you trust the God of miracles
We know 
We know
We know
That there is no such thing as impossible

10,000

If "The Star-Spangled Banner" is the anthem for the United States, and if "God, Save the Queen" is the anthem of the United Kingdom, then what is the worship and religious anthem of the Church? Well, that answer is "10,000 Reasons (Bless the Lord)" by Matt Redman.

This song came out back in 2011, but I never considered it as a worship and religious anthem for the church  I just thought that it was a great song to sing about worshiping God. Then one day, I received a newsletter from my junior high school and they described this song as the religious anthem of the church. When I read that, I was amazed and I totally agreed with what was said. I remember saying to myself, "I wish I could've been there to hear it." Nowadays that I'm in college, this song will be sung either in chapel or at my church that I attend.

The first time that I ever sang this song with other people was at my college's orientation. The only thing I remember was hearing the opening notes and being like "Wow, we're singing this." or something like that. I then sang this song with all my heart, and with both hands (I think) raised in the air. It's one thing to hear this song on the radio and sing it alone, but it's an entire different experience to hear other Christians singing this.

Another time we sang this song was during a Sunday worship service. The song was in a key that I could sing and it was just an acoustic guitar. This was the first time that I recorded it on my phone to have as a memory. I'm listening to it right now as I am typing. It brings back some nice memories.

 The most vivid memory that I have was at the end of January of this year during Olivet's Winter Revival. There were even times that I just stopped singing just so I could hear everyone else. It sounds so beautiful (even if the song was in a different key), just to hear a small church that's all filled to capacity sing this song. It sounds like a heavenly choir! I do have this version recorded as well.

It's hard to say which of these 3 memories is my favorite, more specifically the second and third one. They both have something that is memorable to me. The first one is memorable because it was the first time I ever sang it with a bunch of other people, but I don't have a recording of it. I wish I did, though. Oh well, at least I have the memory of it in my head. 

I'm not sure what else to say about this song. It's so amazing to hear and sing to God. So, I will just end with this:

My favorite number

10,000

Why?

10,000 reasons for my heart to find; 10,000 years and then forevermore.

Here are the lyrics to this amazing song. Oh, check out the album that this song is on. It's called "10,000 Reasons). There are some other really great songs on there as well, 

"10,000 Reasons (Bless the Lord)" by Matt Redman

The sun comes up, it's a new day dawning

It's time to sing Your song again

Whatever may pass, and whatever lies before me

Let me be singing when the evening comes

[Chorus]

Bless the Lord, O my soul

O my soul

Worship His holy name

Sing like never before

O my soul

I'll worship Your holy name

You're rich in love, and You're slow to anger

Your name is great, and Your heart is kind

For all Your goodness I will keep on singing

Ten thousand reasons for my heart to find

[Chorus]

Bless the Lord, O my soul

O my soul

Worship His holy name

Sing like never before

O my soul

I'll worship Your holy name

And on that day when my strength is failing

The end draws near and my time has come

Still my soul will sing Your praise unending

Ten thousand years and then forevermore

[Chorus x2]

Bless the Lord, O my soul

O my soul

Worship His holy name

Sing like never before

O my soul

I'll worship Your holy name

Jesus, I'll worship Your holy name

Lord, I'll worship Your holy name

Sing like never before

O my soul

I'll worship Your holy name

Jesus, I'll worship Your holy name

I'll worship Your holy name

"Safe"

What does the word "safe" mean to you? You might say that it means "to be protected from danger", or you might say something else. According to dictionary.com. "safe" is: secure from liability to harm, injury, danger, or risk. Both of these definitions do resonate with me, but let me share with you an acronym that I wrote for the word, "Safe" is Secure, Anchored, Free, and Everlastingly loved.

I wrote this acronym for one of my fanfiction stories titled "S.A.F.E.". In the story, one character will finally come to terms with something that has haunted her for most of her life. You'll have to read the story and the stories before it to understand what I"m talking about, but here is the final line of the story.

"I am no long scared, abandoned, fearful, and empty. Instead I am secure, anchored, free, and everlastingly loved. I am safe in the arms of God's embrace, breathing in his freedom." 

The last phrase that she says (safe in the arms of God's embrace, breathing in his freedom), is actually a line from one of my new favorite songs, "Where Would We Be" by Matt Redman. This song became one of my favorite songs even before I had come up with the acronym. Every time I sat down to write a section of this story, this song would be the first one that I would listen to. In fact, I am even listening to it right now as I type this post.

This song is also featured in the story during a church service, The church in the story is in the middle of a series titled "SAFE" and they are currently on the second letter, A, which stands for "anchored". The song is the theme song for the series. Thee verse that they use is the story is Hebrews 6:19, which says "we have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure. (NIV)

I wold like to share with you an excerpt from the story, which is actually part of the message that my character hears and takes to heart.

"There are some of you this morning that are holding onto an anchor that's not from God. It's from the Devil, and he is weighing heavily on you. He doesn't want you to let go of it. He wants you to become so weighted down that maybe you reach your breaking point, But, God says to let it go. He wants you to let go of whatever is weighing you down and be anchored in Him and Him only. He wants you be safe in his arms. He wants you to be secure, anchored, free, and everlastingly loved."

So, what I am trying to get at here? Well, I want you to one day feel safe in the arms of God. Le t go of whatever is holding you down and be anchored in Christ.

This is my definition of safe.

By the way, 2 quick things, my second semester of college is going a lot better than my first semester. Also, here is the link to the story, "SAFE". Make sure you read or are familiar with the stories preceding it, specifically "Russia', so that this one will make sense.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/5760079/chapters/13272103

"Thrive"

What's your word for this year? Well, if you asked me this back when I was a junior in high school, I would've answered with this, "Courage". Each day, I needed to have courage and be very brave to adjust to my new high school as I was transitioning from a private school to a public high school. I remember walking in on the first day and it felt like a giant culture shock. By the time I reached my senior year, things were a lot better. It wasn't the greatest, but with God's help, I made it through and best of all, I graduated with honors!

What's your word for this year? Well, this year, my word it "Thrive". According to Dictionary.com. thrive is a verb meaning "to prosper, be fortunate or successful." "Thrive" is my word for 2015.

In 2014, Christian artist Casing Crowns released their 6th album titled "Thrive". This album also featured the song with the same title. The line that stands out to me is this. "It's time for us to more than just survive. We were made to thrive."

So, how do I thrive? Well, let me give you an image. Take your right hand and hold up all 5 fingers. Then take your left hand and place it under your right hand, but have your fingers point down .This, according to Casting Crowns' singer, Mark Hall, is called the "Thrive Five". The fingers on the left hand are like roots of a tree. This is called digging deep into God's word and learning more about who He is, The fingers on the right hand are pointed up. This is called reaching out into the world and showing others who God is. We as Christians are not just to only dig deep and only reach out, we are tot dig deep AND reach out.

So, why is thrive my word for 2015? Well, it was also my word when I started college last fall. Unfortunately, and I won't go into details, but I had a rough semester because of some very stressful things that took place. Make a long story short, and thanks to God and my parents, I am going back to college for a second semester!! I still however bare an emotional scar from everything that took place.

As I prepare to head back to college for the spring, my goal is to not just to survive, My goal is to THRIVE!!!!!!! How am I going to do this? Well first off, I'm going to go into each of my classes, ready to learn. Second, I'm going to grow in my spiritual life. I have actually already started a few new things to help. I have started a prayer wall with people's names on post-it notes. Most of them are authors on FanFiction that need prayer. The rest are friends. Another thing I do is devotions. I read devotions morning, noon, and night. It's a great way to relax and focus my mind on God.

The last way that I am going thrive is to think positive. A lot of times last semester I was really negative and not in a good mood because of what had happened, Yes there were days that were enjoyable, but there was always a sense of sadness over me. I wasn't exactly my full self and there were days that I let it overpower me. Well, this year, I am not going to do that. I am going to instead be "safe in the arms of [God's] embrace, breathing in his freedom (Matt Redman "Where Would We Be").

So, what are you waiting for? Stop trying to just survive, go out there and THRIVE!! Dig deep into God's word and reach out into the world!

Here are thy lyrics to this amazing song.

"Thrive" by Casting Crowns

Here in this worn and weary land

Where many a dream has died

Like a tree planted by the water

We never will run dry

So living water flowing through

God we thirst for more of You

Fill our hearts and flood our souls

With one desire

Just to know You and

To make You known

We lift Your name on High

Shine like the sun make darkness run and hide

We know we were made for so much more

Than ordinary lives

It's time for us to more than just survive

We were made to thrive

Into Your word we're digging deep

To know our Father's heart

Into the world we're reaching out

To show them who You are

So living water flowing through

God we thirst for more of You

Fill our hearts and flood our souls

With one desire

Just to know You and

To make You known

We lift Your name on High

Shine like the sun make darkness run and hide

We know we were made for so much more

Than ordinary lives

It's time for us to more than just survive

We were made to thrive

Joy Unspeakable, Faith Unsinkable, Love Unstoppable, Anything is possible

Joy Unspeakable, Faith Unsinkable, Love Unstoppable, Anything is possible

Joy Unspeakable, Faith Unsinkable, Love Unstoppable, Anything is possible

Joy Unspeakable, Faith Unsinkable, Love Unstoppable, Anything is possible

Just to know You and

To make You known

We lift Your name on High

Shine like the sun make darkness run and hide

We know we were made for so much more

Than ordinary lives

It's time for us to more than just survive

We were made to thrive

Hey!

We were made to Thrive!

"A Christmas to Believe In"

I don't have much to say about this song, except that I love using this phrase, "Wishing you a Christmas to believe in!"

Merry Christmas everyone. I hope your Christmas was a Christmas to believe in! See you in 2015!

Here are the lyrics to this beautiful and heartfelt song by my favorite Christian artist, Matthew West.

"A Christmas to Believe In" by Matthew West

It's a house full of noise ‘cause the family's all in town
It's an attic full of toys so the kids won't find out
The smell of cookies in the oven, it's a slow dance in the kitchen
Oh, ain't it somethin', it's a Christmas to believe in

It's in the snow making angels, it's a mistletoe kiss
It's an empty seat at the table to remember who we miss
It's a candle light carol, it's a grateful choir singin'
Oh Hark! The Herald, it's a Christmas to believe in

More than just a Merry Christmas
I'm wishing you a Christmas to believe in
Where the moments turn to memories
And years from now you'll close your eyes and see them
More than just another busy season
I'm wishing you a Christmas to believe in

It's a blanket by the fire watching all our favorite movies
“It's A Wonderful Life” in black and white just like it should be
It's Salvation Army bells, hear them ringing to remind us
There's a world that needs our help, may compassion come and find us

More than just a Merry Christmas
I'm wishing you a Christmas to believe in
Where the moments turn to memories
And years from now you'll close your eyes and see them
More than just another busy season
I'm wishing you a Christmas to believe in

Hallelujah, we believe in Christmas

It's grandpa's Bible opened up to Luke Chapter 2
It's the greatest gift of love being born for me and you
It's a heart returning home to the One who is the reason
Every Christmas is a Christmas to believe in
May your Christmas be a Christmas to believe in

"At The Cross (Love Ran Red)"

"Love Ran Red"

When  I first saw these words, I din't understand their meaning. All I knew is that it was the title to Chris Tomlin's newest CD. Also, the only two songs that I knew form the album were "Waterfall" and "Jesus Loves Me", (it's actually something else. It's not the one that you would hear in Sunday School.) so the title didn't make sense to me at all. Anyway, I remember asking myself, "What do these three words, 'love ran red' mean? Well, today, 11-5-14, I got my answer. In chapel today. we sang a song that had these words in it,. The words were "where your love ran red and my sin washed white. I owe all to you. I owe all to you. Jesus" As I was looking at those words, Chris Tomlin's album came into my mind. That's when I got the meaning. Red is the color of blood, and it spilled out of Jesus Christ as he hung on a cross. God loved us so much that he sent his son, Jesus, to die on a cross and shed his blood for us. His love for us ran in the form of red, washing our sins white as snow. Now, I don't know about you, but that's love!

Maybe you are reading this and you're saying to yourself, "How can my sins be washed white?" Well, I have the answer for you. All you have to do is ask. First, you admit you are a sinner, then you believe in your heart that Jesus dies on the cross for your sins. Finally, you choose to have a relationship with him. It's that simple. Just pray this simple prayer, 

Dear God, please forgive me. I know I'm a sinner. I believe Jesus died and rose from the dead so I could be forgiven of my sins and live forever in heaven. Thank you for loving me and allowing me to have a personal relationship with you. In Jesus' name I pray. Amen."

If you prayed that prayer for the first time, congratulations! you are now a believer in Christ. I believe that you have been born again. I encourage you to tell a friend about the new relationship that you have. 

Read the rest of the lyrics of this amazing song by Chris Tomlin and be an awe of what Jesus di for you. 

"At The Cross (Love Ran Red) by Chris Tomlin

There's a place where mercy reigns and never dies,

There's a place where streams of grace flow deep and wide.

Where all the love I've ever found,

Comes like a flood,

Comes flowing down.

Chorus:

At the cross

At the cross

I surrender my life.

I'm in awe of You

I'm in awe of You

Where Your love ran red

and my sin washed white.

I owe all to You

I owe all to You Jesus.

There's a place where sin and shame are powerless.

Where my heart has peace with God and forgiveness.

Where all the love I've ever found.

Comes like a flood,

Comes flowing down.

Chorus:

At the cross

I surrender my life.

I'm in awe of You

I'm in awe of You

Where Your love ran red

and my sin washed white.

I owe all to You

I owe all to You Jesus.

Here my hope is found

Here on holy ground

Here I bow down

Here arms open wide

Here You save my life

Here I bow down

Here I bow down

Chorus:

At the cross

I surrender my life.

I'm in awe of You

I'm in awe of You

Where Your love ran red

and my sin washed white.

I owe all to You

I owe all to You Jesus.

Diary of a Runner

October 29. 2012: Joined Team World Vision
October 29, 2013: released an album of 9 songs that showcased my passion for worship
October 29, 2014: preparing to run my 4th 5k.

Here's the story of how I went from hating running in 3rd grade to now wanting to run a half-marathon by the time I graduate college.

My first run that I can remember was back in third grade gym class. It was a mile run called the turkey trot. Not knowing much about running, I just took off. The goal was to run one mile, or 24 laps around the gym. Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to complete all 24 laps. We only had a certain time to run it. During 4^th-8^th grade, I had to run a mile as part of the presidential physical fitness test. Each year, I always told myself that I wanted to do better. I remember even re-running it on the make-up day. There was one year in Jr. High that I couldn’t do the make-up run because I had a bad cough that prevented me from running. During those years of running, I could never remember all of my times. The last mile that I remembered was 10 minutes even. I believe that was in 7^th grade. At one point during Jr. High, I considered joining the track team. That failed because of too much homework and my mom saying that I couldn’t do it since I was in band.

Fast forward to freshman year of high school, I didn’t have to run a mile, but I had to run laps for a certain period of time. I tried to pace myself, but it was difficult to do it. Since having to run a mile back in elementary and Jr. High school  I developed a small hatred for running, but yet I loved to race my sister on the beach. My sophomore year of high school, I still had to run laps, but this time, I changed my attitude. I wanted to learn about what it meant to be a better runner. I also began to pace myself better.

When I transferred to a new high school, the idea of running was dropped. I wasn’t required to take gym, so there was no opportunity for me to run. It’s now October and the day after the 2012 Chicago marathon. My physics teacher ran the marathon while injured. He wasn’t able to get his goal, but he was able to finish, which made me happy. Anyway, on the day of the marathon, I was actually coming home from a retreat. I had decided to wear an orange short in support of the team that he was running for, which was Team World Vision. Later that day, I posted on Team World Vision’s facebook page saying congrats and that I wish I could join the team because I wasn’t a good runner. Well, about two weeks later, that changed. On October 29, 2012, I signed up to join Team World Vision. My first run would be a 5K called the Hub Run.

Throughout my junior year, I began my training. I would run through the hallways of my high school as well as run laps around my yard. Eventually, I had to stop for two reasons. One, my high school was getting too crowded and two, it was starting to get cold out and I hated running in the cold. Finally, March rolled around and I was now on a training plan. The only downside was that I was using a treadmill. On the longer runs, I would run and watch a movie. On the shorter runs, I would listen to music. Sadly, at the end of April, I gave up on the plan because I fell behind. I then decided to just run on my own. I had one goal in mind, run the 5k in under an hour. I was going to do it, no matter what.

On May 5, 2013, the day arrived. However I had two problems. One, I had to work the night before, which caused me not to get to bed early. Also, I woke up with my knee in pain because of reason number one. I was nervous. I even emailed my teacher and said “Pray for me today, I’m in pain with my knee.” I decided to wear my new Team World Vision jersey to church that morning. Finally, it was race time. My phone was ready to go with all of music. My partner was there too. We both stood at the front of the line, waiting for the start. At last, we were off,

I ran the first mile without stopping. The rest of the race was a run/walk. I then finally crossed the line with both my hands raided to “Until The Whole World Hears” by Casting Crowns. I did it! I had ran my first 5K. My time, which I checked at home, was 37 minutes and 14 seconds. I was happy that I got my goal!

It’s now June and I’ve graduated high school. My next goal was to run the Crown Point Crusader Classic, which was another 5k, in September. Unfortunately, I was not able to run it. I then decided to take a break. Moving on to May of 2014, I decided to start running again since I was planning to run a 5K in college. My first run was a nine minute run to “Assemble” from “The Avengers” and “Lemurian Star” from “Captain America: The Winter Soldier”. The goal was to run without stopping for water. Well, I got my goal, but I was VERY worn out. Plus, I had to work later that night. Make a long story short, I came home work early because I felt like I was ready to fall over when I bent down to do something.

Throughout the summer, I would do these small nine minute jogs. My record for running without stopping that I officially timed was 7:44. I eventually broke that record. Today, it is 15 minutes. Ok, I’m now in college, my second 5k is on September 6. The goal was to run it under 30 minutes. Well, I did just that. I ran it in 29:50. Eight days later, I announced my third 5k. This would also be my second one this month. I was super happy to male this announcement. My passion for running was back.

Starting on September 16, I worked through a seven day training regiment of running and cross-training. Cross training included swimming and biking. The plan concluded on September 23 with a 1.67 mile run and a 1.56 mile bike ride. I then took a three day break. Saturday came and I was ready. I ran almost the entire 5k, only walking twice. I finished the last part of the race at a hard and fast run, hands in the air to “Until the Whole world Hears”. My time was 29:10. I did it again. I beat my goal of running a 5K in under 30 minutes.

After my third 5k, I decided to take a well-deserved break. I was supposed to resume on October 14, but ended up not because of homework and poor weather conditions (cold temperatures). However, I do have an alternative, bike riding. My longest ride so far is 8 miles in 1 hour. As I am writing this, I am preparing for my 4^th 5k. This one will be interesting because I haven't done much running since my last one. I hope to run it in a decent time. My long-term goal is to run/walk a half-marathon by time I graduate college in 2018. I am also approaching my 2-year anniversary of being a member of Team World Vision. So far, 6 people have water for life. $50 provides water for one person. When I ran the hub run, I raise $200. On my one-year anniversary, I released an album of 9 of my favorite worship songs. The album was all about worship and water. I wanted to showcase my passion for worship. Also, any donations that I received would go toward World Vision. I raised $87 and then contributed the remainder to make it $100. As of today, Team World Vision has a copy of my album as well a a picture collage so they can see what I look like.

I was so excited to sign up for the team. I would like to thank my physics teacher, my running partner from the Hub Run, and TWV themselves for inspiring me to run. Most importantly, I would like to thank God, for giving me the ability to run. I couldn’t have done any of these races without Him!

The picture below is of me outside my dorm room after completing a 15-minute run in the cold.

"Forever Changed"

Hey, readers. Other than writting my thoughts on songs, I also write stories on FanFiction. Most of them are crossovers with The Avengers and Star Wars. Anyway, my most recent story is titled "Forever Changed."

The description is as follows: One is killed, one is taken captive, one is severlely wounded, and with the help of a special guest, one will make a life-changing decision that will change their way of life forever. 

Here is the link to "Forever Changed". Also, if you have social media, please share this with your friends. Let's see if we can start something awesome!!!! 

http://archiveofourown.org/works/5740567/chapters/13228375

"Waterfall"

Chris Tomlin's new song, "Waterfall" is my most current Christian theme song. I love the metaphor that he chooses to describe God's love. God's love rains down on me, just like a waterfall.  His love is amazing. I couldn't ask for anything better than his love that never fails me. Read the lyrics and be reminded of God's unchanging love. Also, check out the video of me singing this amazing song.

"Waterfall" by Chris Tomlin

Oh God, my God I seek You
I wanna move when You move
You're more than I could long for
I thirst for You

You're an ocean to my soul
To my soul

Your love is like a waterfall, waterfall
Running wild and free
You hear my heart when I call, when I call
Deep calls, too deep
Your love is like a waterfall, waterfall
Raining down on me

Waterfall, waterfall

Oh God, my God I seek You
In this dry and desert land
You lead me to streams of mercy
Once again

You're an ocean to my soul
To my soul

Your love is like a waterfall, waterfall
Running wild and free
You hear my heart when I call, when I call
Deep calls, too deep
Your love is like a waterfall, waterfall
Raining down on me

Waterfall, waterfall

It's coming like a flood
I'm dancing in the rain
Everything I've done
Is covered in rivers of grace, amazing

It's coming like a flood
I'm dancing in the rain
I lift up my hands
Your love never changes, amazing

Your love is like a waterfall, waterfall
Running wild and free
You hear my heart when I call, when I call
Deep calls, too deep
Your love is like a waterfall, waterfall
Raining down on me

Waterfall, waterfall 

"All You've Ever Wanted"

Like most Casting Crowns songs, this song I fell in love with after one listen to. However, I didn't let it sink in until after March 2, 2014. On this particular day, I held a small concert at my old youth group called "Amy Foto; Made to Worship" This was also the title to my second album that was released on October 29, 2013. One of the 4 songs that I had performed that night was "All You've Ever Wanted" by Casting Crowns. I can't remember when it started playing on Shine.FM, but I do know that whenever I hear it, I love to turn up my radio (or ipod) and sing it with all of my heart,

Around Valentine's Day 2014, I remember seeing a picture on facebook of a little boy holding a heart to God and saying "It ain't much, but it's all I got." God says to him, "It's all I've ever wanted." I just love that. God doesn't expect anything from me. He just wants my heart. Words cannot describe how I feel about that phrase. It's just amazing to hear.

Another part of the song I love is when he says, "Jesus is my strength, my shield, and He will never fail me!' Like the other line, I love this one too. I love to sing this line with full passion and my hand in the air praising God. 

My final favorite section in the song is the bridge. He says, "No more chains I've been set free. No more fighting battles you've won for me. Now in Christ I stand complete!" This whole section is amazing. The fact that God has broken my chains and set me free is amazing. I love it. This song is my current theme song. I love so sing it with full passion and raise my hands to praise God.

Read the lyrics and be amazed. Also, look up the song on youtube and sing it yourself with full passion like me.

"All You've Ever Wanted" by Casing Crowns


I just looked up today
And realized how far away I am from where You are
You gave me life worth dying for
But between the altar and the door
I bought the lies that promised more
And here I go again

Lord, I know I let You down
But somehow, I will make You proud
I'll turn this sinking ship around
And make it back to You

But all my deeds and my good name
Are just dirty rags that tear and strain
To cover all my guilty stains
That You already washed away

(‘Cause) All You've ever wanted, all You've ever wanted
All You've ever wanted was my heart
Freedom's arms are open, my chains have all been broken
Relentless love has called me from the start
And all You wanted was my heart

I was chasing healing when I'd been made well
I was fighting battles when You conquered hell
Living free but from a prison cell
Lord, I lay it down today

So I'll stop living off of how I feel
And start standing on Your truth revealed
Jesus is my strength, my shield
And He will never fail me


(‘Cause) All You've ever wanted, all You've ever wanted
All You've ever wanted was my heart
Freedom's arms are open, my chains have all been broken
Relentless love has called me from the start
And all You wanted was my heart

No more chains, I've been set free
No more fighting battles You've won for me
Now in Christ, I stand complete

All You've ever wanted
All You've ever wanted
All You've ever wanted was my heard
Freedom's arms are open, my chains have all been broken
Relentless love has called me from the start
And all You wanted my heart.

 

"The Real Me"

I remember turning 11 when I got Natalie Grant's CD titled Awaken. the only song I knew on the entire album was "Held" Today, at 19 years of age, I now know almost all of the songs. One song that stands out to me is titled "The Real Me." This song talks about a girl who sees herself as "living a charade, always on parade," putting on fake smile to hide what's on the inside. Only God sees the real her, wonderful and beautiful. He turns " the tattered fabric of her life into a perfect tapestry."

On Sunday February 2, 2013, my friend at church, and my newest "Miss Lovewell," Jill Ramirez sang this song as a solo at the end of the service and she did an AMAZING JOB. I could tell that she sang it from the heart. We are in a series at church called "Beyond the Game" which is all about getting "beyond the games" in our relationship, not only with others, but with Jesus Christ. This weekend, we talked about being authentic, removing our mask. This song just fit perfectly with the message and how God sees the real us.

Read the lyrics and be reminded that God sees the real us. Also, the reason Jill is now my "Miss Lovewell" is because she comforted me when I was upset about not being able to sing this weekend because of work. She showed me a small act of kindness that meant a lot to me.

"The Real Me" by Natalie Grant

Foolish heart looks like we're here again
Same old game of plastic smile
Don't let anybody in
Hiding my heartache, will this glass house break
How much will they take before I'm empty
Do I let it show, does anybody know?

[Chorus:]
But you see the real me
Hiding in my skin, broken from within
Unveil me completely
I'm loosening my grasp
There's no need to mask my frailty
Cause you see the real me

Painted on, life is behind a mask
Self-inflicted circus clown
I'm tired of the song and dance
Living a charade, always on parade
What a mess I've made of my existence
But you love me even now
And still I see somehow

[Chorus:]
But you see the real me
Hiding in my skin, broken from within
Unveil me completely
I'm loosening my grasp
There's no need to mask my frailty
Cause you see the real me

Wonderful, beautiful is what you see
When you look at me
You're turning the tattered fabric of my life into
A perfect tapestry
I just wanna be me

[Chorus:]
But you see the real me
Hiding in my skin, broken from within
Unveil me completely
I'm loosening my grasp
There's no need to mask my frailty
Cause you see the real me
And you love me just as I am
Wonderful, beautiful is what you see
When you look at me