As you may or may not know, not also do I write my own fanfiction stories, I also read them. One particular author that I read is called thegraytigress. She is actually my beta-reader for one of my stories. One of her mot recent stories that she has written is called "Stay"
Here is the summary and the link. PLEASE READ THE WARNINGS!!!!!
On the surface, he's a disabled war vet and she's his new neighbor. On the surface, they're both okay, surviving, working, living. But beneath his apathy, he's broken, bleeding, and drowning in his pain and loneliness. Underneath her smiles, she's lost, terrified, and trying to find a new start. Maybe it's fate that she moves in and he finds her. And maybe falling in love is their chance to heal.
http://archiveofourown.org/works/6897352/chapters/15736108?view_adult=true
I will warn you RIGHT NOW, there is A LOT of adult content in this story. including: past sexual assault, PTSD, language, unhealthy coping mechanisms, and past domestic violence, but don't let that stop you from getting the message of the story. The purpose of the story is to help people who are struggling with either PTSD or are trying to get away from an abusive relationship and start over.
And now for my personal thoughts:
Out of all the fanfiction stories that I have read either by thegraytigress or even other authors, this one has a personal meaning to me. Now, I do not have PTSD and I am not trying to get away from an abusive relationship, but the idea of wondering if things are going to be OK is what resonates with me.
Last year, more specifically starting at the end of November, I was dealing with some personal issues regarding my writing and reading of fanfiction. Because of this, I couldn't talk with her on twitter after each chapter like I always do when I'm reading one of her stories. It's a long and complicated story of which I'd rather not disclose. I miss it terribly. Some days its easy, and some days it's not.
When these issues first started, I compared it to a table, a turning table that i couldn't keep up with. Read chapter 13 of this story to understand the reference. That is where this story became real to me as well as the song "Turning Tables" by Adele. I was wondering if things were ever going to be OK and if I could ever go back to reading and writing. Unfortunately, I can't right now, but maybe one day in the future I can.
Ever since thegraytigress finished this story, I have been trying to find the right words to say to her without going into details or getting too personal. The day that things fell apart for me was really tough. It was hard to come to terms with it because it hit me like a ton of bricks. It left me lost and unsure of how things were going to work out, Anyway, I think this blog is the best I can do. I can share both my thoughts on this story and encourage others to read this story if they are struggling.
I have found some other songs that go really well with this story. The reason being is that they tell parts of Natasha's story really well. I'd encourage you to read the story first, then listen to these songs in this order. They are:
1. The Real Me-Natalie Grant
2. Home-Natalie Grant
3. Set It All Free-Scarlett Johanssen
So. if you are brave enough, feel free to read this story and leave a review. She worked really hard on this story despite all of the negativity she received as she went. I am really proud of her for sticking with it and not giving up, even if I couldn't be there (logged in to twitter) to help her through it.
Lastly, this is for thegraytigress:
THANK YOU!!!!!! Thank you for writing an amazing and inspiring story. Thank you for showing me and thousands of other readers that things will one day be OK.
I'll leave you with a final quote from the story. I remember when I read it I felt like it resonated with me. When I told her that, it made her feel good. I hope this quote will encourage you as you journey through life.
"Recovery is a process, a long one. It’s two steps forward, one step back. It seems trite, but it’s true. And it’s not about forgetting your past or ignoring it or simply getting over it. It’s about learning to let it be a part of you. That takes time and patience."
